[Catherine Riley]

Hi everyone,
I got a job at a large firm and am loving the company culture. I’m still at the bottom of the totem pole, but I’m treated very well. I’m learning a lot from my supervisor and experiencing career advancement. It’s a wonderful change.

I’ve re-read my post and I think I didn’t explain the extent of the subtle sexism very well. It’s hard to put into words because it’s not tangible. My former employers didn’t break the law or sexually harass me. A few replies to my post focused on my perception of being an entry level employee and having victim mentality. I think they made good points. It’s important to do your best work and not make excuses. Now that I have a new job I can look back and see the millions of microaggressions and unprofessional comments that I experienced much more clearly and differentiate between sexism and being entry level. Some of it is wording. If you’re given an assignment to do a planting plan, that’s awesome. If you’re given an assignment because it’s softscape and they, as men, handle hardscape, and you need to “beauty it up because you understand that type of thing,” its weird sexism. Likewise being called “CAD-girl,” “office gal,” or “toots.”

Then there are situations where I can’t differentiate between the two. Such as the time I showed my boss the runoff calculations and explained why the underground cistern with no outlet would overflow. He said I am inexperienced and he knew better, and not to argue. And by that point I knew any response was in vain, so I waited for the rain. It rained that week. An entire yard flooded along with the basement of a 1900’s mansion.

What I want to say is this:
1. If you’re an entry level LA, just keep learning. Learn from your boss’s mistakes, their assumptions, their meetings, how they run an office, and how they handle catastrophes.
2. Pass the LARE.
3. If and when you finally crack because you’re job is bananas and you’re poor from choosing life as a LA, and the good old boys club is getting you down… write a post on Land8 and keep working. You’ll get there. And you’ll have amazing stories from being the lowest of the totem pole when your knowledge was ignored and a mansion flooded.
4. It’s not about you. The older generation grew up with gender stereotypes and while they don’t get a free pass, I try to keep in mind that it’s not personal. My boss isn’t implying that I, specifically, am capable of less than a man, he actually believes this to be true of all women. Not great, but not personal.
5. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. The first time my boss called me “toots,” was the last time. Same with “hun,” and “dear.”
6. Have a good attitude but STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. This one is in response to bdbspeed’s post above. If you are young and need to gain experience, a good attitude is important. But it is better to be safe than well liked. Know when it’s time to bail. Bosses don’t need to hug or touch their employees. You can gain experience somewhere else, preferably somewhere with an HR department.
7. Know that you aren’t alone. Although only men have responded to this post, I’ve spoken to many women I’ve gone to school with who have battled this in one form or another. One said I needed to read Feminist Fight Club. Read it! Especially if you’re a man. You can become a male feminist and let women share their ideas without interrupting them or taking credit.

Thank you.

[Catherine Riley]

Thank you to Mark and Bob as well!

[Catherine Riley]

Thank you Andrew! I’m grateful that you took the time and thought to write such an eloquent answer. I will continue to do my best work and be the best I can be.

[Catherine Riley]

This summer I created a design/build company that is my moonlighting job. I do installations on weekends with some friends and family and meet clients after working hours. I’ve made about $10,000 so far and it’s only July. I’d highly recommend it, although it is really hard work.

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