Landscape Architecture Jokes

[Tim Zhang]

For freelance works at home, you work in your underwear…
Just like a prostitute.

You find yourself hanging out with people in the same profession as you.
Just like a prostitute.

You take calls from potential clients and have to meet at their homes.
Just like a prostitute.

Sometimes, when your client isn’t interesting, you have to fake it.
Just like a prostitute.

Sometimes you get paid by day.
Just like a prostitute.

You often work nights.
Just like a prostitute.

You have to dress a certain way depending on what you have to do.
Just like a prostitute.

You find yourself kissing an endless amount of ass.
Just like a prostitute.

 

When people ask you what you do, you have a hard time explaining it to them.
Just like a prostitute.

[Andrew Garulay, RLA]

 … you find yourself in this economy getting ….

….just like…

 

… now if you could only get paid and have a steady stream of clients there might be something to that.

[Jason T. Radice]

Of course, the esoteric:

 

“I should have you look at my backyard!”

 or

 

“My lawn has brown spots, what should I do?”

[Adam McGovern]

How do you know there is a Landscape Architect in the room?

 

They already told you.

[Matt Sprouse]

OK.  the whole office just laughed out loud!  That is the best one hands down.

[Thomas J. Johnson]

Well, I guess we know what Tim does for a living… 🙂

[Thomas J. Johnson]

On the difficulty of landscape architecture education…
A picture is worth a thousand words.
How’d you like to write a 10,000 word paper every week?

A bad workman blames his fools … EDIT: tools … stupid keyboard.

What’s the difference between God and a landscape architect?                                                                              God knows He’s a great landscape architect.A landscape architect thinks he’s greater than God.

Three contractors were visiting a tourist attraction on the same day. One was from NY, another from Texas, and the third from Florida.

At the end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living. When they all replied that they were contractors, the guard said, “Hey, we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don’t you guys take a look at it and give me a bid?” So, off they went to check it out.

First to step up was the Florida contractor. He took out his tape measure and pencil, did some measuring and said, “Well, I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.”

Next was the Texas contractor. He also took out his tape measure and pencil, did some quick figuring and said, “Looks like I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.”

Without so much as moving, the NY contractor said, “$2,700.”

The guard, incredulous, looked at him and said, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?”

“Easy,” he said. “$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you and we hire the guy from Texas.”

 

[Tim Zhang]

it’s like cad is always plotting against me, trying to make me offset.

[Thomas J. Johnson]

You should try “Array”

[ykonwanderer]

Anyone remember this little sketch that appeared in an edition of Land Arch magazine (unfortunately I don’t even know what year it was), that was a satire of all the landscape architecture cliches?  I can remember it was a plan of a property, and there was a “sun-dried tomato growing area” labelled, and a whole bunch of other things like that.  It would be great to find it again!

[marty]

an architect designs buildings

a physician helps people when they are sick

an engineer solves problems

a teacher educates the unlearned

a police officer keeps people safe

 

WHAT DOES A LANDSCAPE ARCHITECT DO?

O

o

o

o

o

o

o

o

o

o

o

L00k for work

[Thomas J. Johnson]

How do you know God is an Engineer and not a Landscape Architect?

Because only an Engineer would put the sewer right next to the playground…

<This one might take a minute to sink in…>

[Andrew Spiering]

Still sinking in… 🙂

[Andrew Garulay, RLA]

I always heard the first part as “God is the architect of mankind”. That may help it sink in a little.

[Chris Whitted]

I’ve never heard it as reference to LAs, just types of engineers.  It first came to me as:

“An electrical, a mechanical and a civil engineer all sat down one day to try and decide what kind of an engineer God must be.

The Electrical Engineer said: “God must be an electrical engineer. You only have to look at the complex nervous system powered by minute electrical impulses to see that.”

The Mechanical Engineer said: “I’m sure God must be a mechanical engineer, how else could he have designed such advanced mechanical systems: the heart a pump, the veins pipes and the tendons and muscles an advanced pulley system.”

The Civil Engineer replied: “You are both wrong. God is a civil engineer. Who else would run a sewer system through a recreational area?””

[Author]

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